The Art of Self-Deception
Recognizing and Overcoming Our Inner Justifications
Definition: Self-deception is the act or process of deceiving oneself into believing something that is not true, often by ignoring, distorting, or rationalizing information that conflicts with one's desires, beliefs, or self-perception. It involves a paradoxical dynamic where the individual both deceives and is deceived, often unconsciously.
This is the hidden genius we all have inside us—whether we recognize it or not. Humans have mastered the art of self-justification in all areas of life.
Ever bought something on a whim that you didn’t need? Ever skipped the gym and used excuse X, Y, or Z to justify it to yourself? Ever laid down on the couch and watched Netflix instead of taking that online course to develop your skillset?
“I’ve had such a tough day today—I deserve to put my feet up instead of doing the thing I know I should be doing.”
We’ve all had conversations with ourselves along these lines.
The tricky part is that sometimes we’re correct in our self-justification. Sometimes we really do need to put our feet up and binge-watch a show instead of going to the gym. Sometimes it’s genuinely beneficial to catch up on sleep in the middle of the day. And sometimes, spending extra on the high-end model is worth it because the additional features provide long-term value.
“Buy nice or buy twice” is a mantra I live by personally, and the truth is, sometimes it’s valid—and sometimes it’s just self-deception.
So how do we tell the difference? How do we know when we’re deceiving ourselves? And how do we know when we’re in alignment with the truth?
There are many ways to figure this out, but here are three of my favorites:
1) Pause and Reflect
Before making a decision or taking action, pause and ask yourself: “What is motivating me right now? Am I avoiding something uncomfortable?”
Reflection creates space to notice potential biases or emotions driving your response.
2) Prioritize Integrity Over Comfort
Ask yourself: “Am I prioritizing short-term comfort over long-term growth or truth?”
Commit to facing uncomfortable truths when they arise. For example: “I’m choosing to scroll Instagram instead of working on my online course because I lack discipline—not because I had a busy day.”
Take ownership of your self-deception, but forgive yourself quickly and self-correct at the next opportunity.
3) Consider Alternative Scenarios
Actively think through scenarios where your assumption or belief might be incorrect.
Ask yourself: “What if I’m wrong? What would it mean for me, and how would I respond? What would it feel like if I worked out for 10 minutes instead of choosing comfort in front of a screen?”
Often, self-deception becomes clear when the alternative choice yields a better result—especially in the immediate term, like exercising for a few minutes instead of being lazy on the couch. Be lazy after. This is not always true - to figure out if it is see #1. HA
There are many strategies to recognize self-deception, but simply knowing it exists and acknowledging that we do it constantly is a huge win for self-development.
What are some strategies you use to recognize self-deception in yourself?